He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
