He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
