your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
