I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
