I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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