He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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