Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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