just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
