if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
