My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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