I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just google imaged poop.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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