She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
