Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
