Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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