I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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