I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
