I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
