worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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