im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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