Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
