i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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