capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
