You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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