so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize