You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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