i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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