Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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