the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
