I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
