I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
