There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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