I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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