Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize