her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My cat gives me a boner
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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