Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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