are you still at the devil's house?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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