hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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