I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My balls are so social today.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
