my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
