Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
