Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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