in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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