how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
