So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
