You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
