i can't believe i had my finger in that
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy