UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.