im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar