school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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