So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
