That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
