quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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