like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
