PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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