He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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