i always forget guys have bellybuttons
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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