i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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