Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
