He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
