yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
