oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
